How to Save Your Relationship & How to Resolve Conflict
2 days ago Conflict is a normal part of any healthy relationship. After all, two people can't be expected to agree on everything, all the time. The key is not to. Do you sometimes think you've worked through a conflict with your partner, only to have it come up again and again? Are there times when you. Conflicts happen even in healthy relationships. Learn how to resolve them in a healthy way!.
Conflicts continue to fester when ignored. Because conflicts involve perceived threats to our well-being and survival, they stay with us until we face and resolve them. We respond to conflicts based on our perceptions of the situation, not necessarily to an objective review of the facts. Our perceptions are influenced by our life experiences, culture, values, and beliefs. Conflicts trigger strong emotions. Conflicts are an opportunity for growth. You can feel secure knowing your relationship can survive challenges and disagreements.
How do you respond to conflict? Do you fear conflict or avoid it at all costs? If your perception of conflict comes from painful memories from early childhood or previous unhealthy relationships, you may expect all disagreements to end badly.
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You may view conflict as demoralizing, humiliating, or something to fear. If your early life experiences left you feeling powerless or out of control, conflict may even be traumatizing for you. Healthy and unhealthy ways of managing and resolving conflict Unhealthy responses to conflict: When handled in an unhealthy manner, it can cause irreparable rifts, resentments, and break-ups.
But when conflict is resolved in a healthy way, it increases your understanding of the other person, builds trust, and strengthens your relationships. The ability to successfully resolve conflict depends on your ability to: Manage stress quickly while remaining alert and calm. By staying calm, you can accurately read and interpret verbal and nonverbal communication.
Control your emotions and behavior. Be aware of and respect differences. By avoiding disrespectful words and actions, you can almost always resolve a problem faster.
To successfully resolve a conflict, you need to learn and practice two core skills: Quick stress relief Being able to manage and relieve stress in the moment is the key to staying balanced, focused, and in control, no matter what challenges you face.
When thinking about what happened, try to remove yourself from the situation and evaluate right and wrong based solely on the actions that took place regardless of which side you're on. Treat it as if you are refereeing someone else's game. Exaggerated language is often proof of an exaggerated understanding of what actually happened.
If you swear, the other party is likely to only hear the expletives and will stop listening for any validity in what you're saying. Belittling a person always shifts the focus off of resolving the actual problem.
Verbal abuse is never welcome to a conflict resolution party. Remind yourself the other person also cares about reconciling the relationship.
One of the fundamental causes of many disagreements is feeling hurt that the other person is no longer considering your perspective, but if they didn't care about a resolution with you they wouldn't be fighting for one.
Remind yourself to never expect the other person to fill a hole in your life that only God can fill. Sometimes we fall into the trap of placing improper expectations on other people because we are hoping for them to satisfy a need in our life that they are not really capable of satisfying. If we are fighting with someone, it means we both care about finding the best course of action and we both care about preserving the relationship.
If your partner curses at you, calls you names or ridicules you, tell them to stop. Find the Real Issue.
Conflict Resolution Skills
Try to get to the heart of the matter. If your partner seems needy, maybe they are just feeling insecure and need your encouragement. Learn to talk about the real issue so you can avoid constant fighting.
Focus on what matters. Easy to say but hard to do, compromising is a major part of conflict resolution and any successful relationship.
So your partner wants Chinese food and you want Indian? Compromise and get Chinese tonight, but Indian next time you eat out. Find a middle ground that can allow both of you to feel satisfied with the outcome. Is this issue really important?