Is your partner over-possessive? - Times of India
When you're in a relationship everyone likes to feel loved and wanted by their wants to know where you are, it means he/she is possessive. Jealousy and possessiveness are not safe cocoons. them happy will be used as a means to whip you into subservience and to force you to bow down to their demons. I have been in a relationship for about a year now. How to Create a More Equal and Trusting Relationship feelings of jealousy or insecurity, couples can cross the line from love to possessiveness. ways people attempt to control relationship partners as a means to calm their own emotions.
For example, we may on some core level feel unlovable or like no one would ever choose us. This negative self-concept can lead us to act out all kinds of jealous or insecure behaviors with our partner. We may act victimized and wounded by any comment or action that we can construe as disregarding or rejecting.
All of these behavior patterns have a lot more to do with us than our partner. And most of them have deep roots in our past. As children, we developed strategies or defenses in an effort to protect ourselves from difficult or painful conditions.
These early experiences shaped our expectations about relationships and the defenses we formed then still play out in our lives today. That is why making sense of our own past and exploring our early attachment patterns can be very helpful in understanding our feelings of possessiveness as adults.
The Truth About Possessiveness and Love
As adults, we may project these feelings onto our partner, feeling like we need to make things happen, remind them to notice us, etc. We may have a lot of anxiety about their movement, fearing rejection or abandonment. As a result, we relive the past, clinging or making efforts to control our partner, so we can feel secure. Unfortunately, because these feelings are rooted in our history, we rarely, if ever, get the reassurance we seek from acting out our old defenses in the present.
Instead, we repeat patterns from our childhood, acting on our insecurities, and often pushing our partner further away in the process. The patterns and defenses we form growing up may have been adaptive to our childhood, but they can hurt our current relationships. However, there are real steps we can take to break patterns of defensiveness and achieve an equal and trusting relationship. Enhance our sense of self — If insecurity is at the root of our possessive behavior, we have to start to look at ways to bring more self-compassion into our lives.
We have to take steps to overcome our inner critic and truly accept that we are worthy and okay on our own, independent of anyone. We are strong and capable.
What Does "Possessive" Mean in a Relationship? | Synonym
Even if our worst fears come true, and our partner does reject or betray us, we have to know that our world will not end. Resist engaging in jealous, authoritative, or punishing behaviors — Actions like surveillance will only alienate our partner and drive a wedge between us. Plus, they lead us to feel bad about ourselves. No matter how anxious it makes us, we have to resist the urge to exert power over our partner. He better not think he can just goof off every weekend.
Current events trigger old, primal pain. Making sense of our story by creating a coherent narrative of our past can lead us to a great sense of self-understanding. It can help us know our triggers and feel calmer in the present. Therapy can also be a life-changing tool when it comes to understanding and overcoming these feelings.
Find ways to calm your anxiety — There are many methods for calming our anxiety. I am a year-old man and have been living on my own for about three years now. However, now I would like to live with my parents and I am contemplating a transfer. Are you wanting to live with your parents because you love them and want to stay with them for the rest of your life? If so, then move back and take on the responsibility of making it a productive decision for your company.
I have been in a relationship for about a year now. The person is important. A bird in hand is better than two in the bush according to them, but look before you leap is a far better adage in this scenario. I am a year-old girl and live with my uncle and aunt.
My parents live in our hometown in Rajasthan and I am here for my studies. You must realise that if anything were to go wrong, your parents will hold them accountable. So appreciate their concern for you and their own standing in the family and just grin and bear their well-placed concern.
Views expressed above are the author's own. Author Pooja Bedi Pooja Bedi represents the uninhibited, strong willed, personally and professionally successful modern Indian woman who has donned many hats.
Her prolific career spans the worlds of film, television, advertising, media, digital media and entertainment. She also champions the cause of safe sex, HIV awareness, breast cancer, Poverty Housing, female foeticide and infanticide, and epitomises a woman who constantly seeks to change and take from strength to strength, not just herself, but the world around her. She has been awarded multiple times for all her avatars, be it as a person, a professional and a humanitarian.
- What Does "Possessive" Mean in a Relationship?
- Jealousy is not a sign of love
Pooja Bedi represents the uninhibited, strong willed, personally and professionally successful modern Indian woman who has donned many hats.