The Keys To A Successful Relationship
What makes a love relationship work? Consider the keys to a successful relationship according to an advisor on Keen, your source for psychic love readings. The three keys to a successful relationship are having that sexual spark. Beyond that you must be best friends and most importantly you must be compatible life. Most of us want to meet and settle down with the “right” person. Here are seven keys to long-term relationship success.
Our kids absorb, inherit, and become who we are and what we do.
We owe it to them to do more work on ourselves! The work you do right now on yourself, in your relationship, echoes through eternity. That is how far the molecules of your emotional intelligence stretch and there is ample evidence to support this.
I knew though that the relationships we grew up around were unexamined and unseasoned. I just knew there was big stuff inside both of us.
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Five marriage counselors later, along with 3 kids girls4 dogs, 2 sets of in-laws, 4 houses in 2 countries, 8 jobs, 12 years of graduate school loan payments, and 9 years of counseling other couples, my relationship with my wife flourishes.
But I have been relentless in my desire to use the interactions with my wife for self-awareness. I continually probe and challenge my wife and myself by asking the hard questions that often create friction, and then using these mutually fired up emotions to smoke out my own self-doubt, fears, and longings.
The only way to really know who that insecure year-old boy is inside of me is have his feelings be called up.
The Keys To A Successful Relationship
And our wives know where that boy lives. Of course at times my wife and I want to kill each other, but that is how a relationship gets its legs, through the friction.
And that is how I learn and fully complete my life. Every minute of every day, you and your spouse are dripping your conscious and unconscious beliefs and feelings into the space in between each other.
This space is the field that you grew up in, between your parents, and this is the zone that your kids now breathe, soak in, and emerge from. There is great news ahead though — the path to becoming more aware and making meaningful changes that will positively affect yourself, your relationship, and your kids stretches out right in front of you. The frustration your husband incites in you has its archeology in how your dad treated your mother, and how you silently responded.
My wife stands in front of me, but my unconscious response pattern flashes memories of being in 6th grade and hating to be corrected.12 Principles Of Successful Relationships
That is endless cycle of unexamined self in relationship. But I learned to grab hold of my defensive feelings, for instance, and take them back with me into my long hours of sitting quietly. I would guide myself back into those 6th grade scenarios and re-feel those emotions, often shedding long tears of sadness or longing. By allowing myself to re-experience the feelings in the present, with the benefit of age and awareness, I can then better accept them.
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My wife helped me find them. She did not cause them, she shined light on them. Consider the case of a man who has focused solely on his wealth and career for the majority of his adult life. He is now in his mid forties — single — never married — no kids. Now that he has built his wealth, he wants to find someone with whom he can share his life. The problem is that he has not developed his emotional side.
He has been alone for so long that his opinion is the only one that counts. He does not know how to be giving and compassionate. This fellow has not spent any time developing his spiritual or emotional side, so he is very much stunted in those areas.
He handles his relationships much like a business. Unfortunately, relationships are not a business. Humans grow and change. Emotions fluctuate and it is not as easy to solve the problems that arise due to emotional needs.
I have been advising him to spend time developing his ability to be a loving, compassionate and caring person. He needs to change his priorities and put an intimate relationship on the top of the list. He needs to get in touch with his own feelings so that he can express them in relationship to someone else.
Additionally, he needs to be in touch with others and begin to understand their feelings and needs. By learning to feel, to listen, respond and act in a loving and giving manner, he can have what he wants. Many people have had their hearts broken in the past and don't want to be open to that hurt again.
Don't fall into this category — don't give up and don't shut down. If you are not in a relationship but want to find a life partner, be a loving person to your kids, pets, family and even strangers. In doing this, love will find you and you will find yourself with a healthy partner that is capable of becoming your best friend and most trusted confidante. If you are in a relationship but the connection has died and communication has stopped, take heart. You can begin to express yourself honestly and openly.
While it may take time to reconnect with each other, if both partners are willing, the connection can heal. Find things to do together that will allow for communication — and are fun. Rediscover who you are to your partner and who your partner is to you. Take turns doing the things that you each enjoy. Pick something new to do together. If your partner is not able or is unwilling to communicate, you may have to consider the possibility of leaving. It is not healthy to stay in a relationship that won't allow you to be authentic.
Many times communication breaks down because either one or both people get lost in their goals, work and immediate concerns.