Parent-Child Relationship in Islam
Currently, I'm having a bad relationship with my mother. To be honest, I'm not an obedient daughter. My mother says that I always hurt her. Is it enough for a mother to love her daughter and fear for her without and scholars of Fiqh (Islamic jurisprudence) say about the stage of. Along with the husband-wife relationship the Parent-child relationship is the most important one. To maintain As between parents the mother has more rights than the father. . Another man asked, “and what if one has only one daughter?.
Sons can help in lifting heavy things, cleaning home, arranging things etc.
Love Alone Cannot Render a Mother’s Relationship with her Teenage Daughter Successful
With good children such help should come automatically, not when asked for. This is what Islam expects from children. Quran urges children to be soft-spoken towards parents and show respect and kindness in their behavior towards parents. Unforunate as it is, the Western societies have forgotten these lessons. Young children are rude towards parents and show disobedience.
Grown up children cannot spare time to attend to the needs of old parents. The busy Western life has led to a break-up of the family unit so much upheld in Islam. As Muslims we expect our children to adhere to Islamic values and show respect, obedience, kindness, leniency and care towards parents, especially in their old age. Children must not forget the favors and sacrifices of their parents.
As good mannered persons they must feel and remain obliged towards parents and try to repay them by kind words and deeds, even with money and material needs. These are the Rights of Parents due from their children or the Duties of Children towards parents. These Rights and obligations are not found in Islam only. Such values are to be found in all true religions.
My Bad Relationship with Mom | About Islam
Hazrat Yousuf Josephas a royal Minister in Egypt, called his old, poor parents from their far off home and offered them seats on a high platform he did not feel shy of behaving in a kind manner to poor parents in the presence of his officials. We have mentioned that Parent-child relation is a reciprocal one.
The Rights of Parents discussed above are the Duties of children. These can be summarized as under: It is, primarily, the duty of the father to do that. Mother can provide help if necessary. Protection means protection against physical as well as moral and intellectual harm. So if the parents have to resort to strictness for the sake of disciplining the children and protecting them from intellectually, morally and religiously undesirable behaviour, children should not resent their strictness.
Let them perform their duty as parents. In Islam education is not limited to bookish knowledge but includes moral and religious training also. Leaving children to the mercy of teachers or tutors is not a wise policy.
- Responsibilities of the Daughters in Islam
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A little sacrifice on part of parents will save children from moral disasters. Another Hadith lays stress on education of daughters. Children have many psychological needs also. Small children need to be loved, caressed, kissed and hugged. The Prophet loved children greatly. He would allow his grandsons Hassan and Hussain R. A to ride his shoulders even during his prayers.
Sometimes he would even kiss small children in the street. A mother should also provide her daughter with psychological and social security. Ahmad Al-Majdoob, an expert at the National Centre for Social and Criminal Research, accuses some contemporary mothers of being blatantly negligent towards their teenage daughters.
A modern woman may be formally educated but the degree she may be holding is irrelevant to the role she has to play. She receives no education or knowledge related to marriage or the household. She does not receive any training that would qualify her to be a mother and a wife.
She lacks the knowledge of what is related to her femininity and the fact that she is a woman. Hence, she staggers in dealing with her children and knows nothing about dealing with a teenage daughter during this stage with all its changes and fluctuations.
Some modern women consider the education and degrees they receive to be a weapon that they can unsheathe against men, and a sign of rivalry that has led to a conflict between man and woman within the family.
This conflict has weakened the authority of both of them before their children and caused family break-up. That is because I know that she does not love me, and only buys these things for me in order to compensate for her absence and negligence. She is only interested in her career, ambition, and competition with her colleagues.
When I was surprised by menstruation for the first time, I did not find her beside me to reassure me and do like any other mother would in this situation. Being a man, you can never realize how I suffered because of this experience. Some of my colleagues in school are morally corrupt. They tried to seduce me and she was not by my side. When I see a mother embracing her daughter and patting on her hair gently, I feel jealous and annoyed.
I go back home with a deep resentment towards my mother. However, in the past, a mother was close to her daughter and undistracted by any material or career ambitions.
I recall the time when a mother used to direct their girls in these situations to preserve hygiene and not to be careless about their health. A mother would also advise her daughter not to make violent movements or do much housework during menstruation. Also, a mother in the past was keen on letting no young man in the house know about the pains that the girl suffers; rather this was considered a secret between her and her daughter. Thus, a mother would prepare warm drinks for her daughter and feel for her.
Hence, a girl would grow up properly without any undesirable psychological consequences. Nowadays, we hear gynecologists saying that there are shocking and morbid cases that call for our sympathy among the daughters of educated women.
You must ensure, however, that you repent to Allah saw and repent sincerely. Simply asking for forgiveness is not enough and it is not necessarily done with sincerity. It certainly seems that you realise your behaviour towards your mother is not ok and that is a good sign that you want to change. But you now need to do all you can to try and tame your disobedience and rudeness towards her.
One way to avoid this is to increase your acts of worship in order that you keep Allah swt in mind all the time. Letting Allah swt slip from your mind gives space for Shaytan and bad ways. This will serve to ensure that you are always conscious of Allah swt.