Love and hate relationship psychology questions

love and hate relationship psychology questions

gists' love–hate relationship with love. Psychologists raise challenging questions about love (or some understandings of love), based on their (usually implicit). This paper goes through psychological perspective of hate .. of love. Their relationship is quite complex. 3. Hatred, like love, has its origins in personal stories that The question to ask ourselves is how a person feeling. A major reason, I argue, is psychologists' love-hate relationship with love. Psychologists raise challenging questions about love (or some.

Thus, people feel both positively and negatively toward those they love. This may not surprise you. Feeling negatively towards your partner does not mean that you are doing something wrong or that you are in the wrong relationship. Why does this study matter?

Much of our relationship rhetoric focuses on positive and negative as two ends of a spectrum—feeling more positively toward your partner means you feel less negatively toward them, and vice versa.

Frontiers | The Deeper the Love, the Deeper the Hate | Psychology

Our feelings toward our partners can range wildly from moment to moment—and it seems that may just be part of the wild ride of sharing your life with another complex human being. Instead, it seems we hold some positive views of these significant others, even as we profess our dislike of them—even if we may not be able to admit it at a conscious level. Not all bad feeling is bad for you Of course, there is such a thing as too much hate.

love and hate relationship psychology questions

That is, way more negative than positive. Letting Go of Anger through Compassion To foster resilience, think about a hurtful event in a different way.

Feeling sad about growing apart from a good friend may help you realize you still care about that relationship. In relationships, conflict can help you negate bad patterns and work through issues. We need some emotional variety —feeling good all the time might just get boring! The key is understanding—as opposed to avoiding conflict or suppressing bad feelings that are perfectly normal.

Along with my colleague Serena Chen, I ran seven different studies of couples, conflict, and relationship satisfaction. We got these results in a number of different ways. People who reported fighting frequently—but who at the same time felt understood by their partners—were no less satisfied with their relationships than people who rarely fight. People who remembered a past conflict in which they felt understood were no less satisfied than those in a control group; those who did not feel understood showed negative effects.

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However, traditional psychological theories have mainly focused on love, especially romantic love. Love has been defined as an action Swensen,attitude Rubin,experience Skolnick,and even as a prototypical emotion Fehr and Russell, ; Post, ; Sober, ; Wyschogrod, Collectively, these definitions suggest that love is a multi-faced phenomenon Ekman, ; Izard, ; Tomkins, Hate, within the context of a romantic relationship, arises mainly from a relational betrayal.

Researchers have proposed a concept related to romantic hate, romantic jealousy, which describes the negative attitudes, anger, and fear associated with having a relationship partner Yoshimura, Love and hate are related to each other in a complex manner; the methodological approaches used by previous researchers have limited effectiveness in exploring the intricate relationship between love and hate. In addition, there has been little research on the psychological mechanisms that could explain the interrelations between love and hate.

Therefore, our study investigates how these two affects are related. To pursue such a research objective, one must consider how best to induce varying levels of feelings of love.

Previous studies have found that attraction is a crucial condition for the development of romantic love Cutler et al. Similarity, rather than complementarity, plays a key role in attraction Berscheid and Reis, ; Luo and Klohnen, ; Hudson et al. Many aspects of similarity have been studied in relation to attraction.

In the current study, we focused on similarity in ideologies. That is, persons with similar ideologies defined here in terms of values and interests tend to form longer lasting and more harmonious relationships Buunk and Bosman, ; Lemay and Clark, Ideological similarity also implies commonalities in behaviors which further contribute to mutual attraction in the context of romantic love Schafer and Keith, From this perspective, similarity may be a key factor that influences the degree of love.

In addition, researchers found that differences in excellence levels, such as those relating to ability and achievement, between partners would also be an important factor influencing romantic relationships Conroy-Beam et al.

In the present study, we manipulated the level of similarity and the level of excellence to induce different levels of love. That is, we concurrently varied the levels of similarity and excellence of different targets.

We explored whether participants felt stronger love for a target who was more similar to themselves when the targets and participants were of the same level of excellence. Additionally, we were also interested in whether participants have different emotional reactions toward different target persons in the context of romantic love and hate. We examined two research questions in the current research.

First, would there be greater feelings of love between two persons if they were more similar to each other? In this study, we implemented a paradigm similar to what has been used in previous research Takahashi et al. The characters in the scenario included one protagonist and three targets. Participants read the scenario and imagined that they were the protagonist and were in a romantic relationship with one of the target.

We induced different levels of love by manipulating the degree of similarity e. We also induced hate using vignettes that showed target persons betraying the protagonist, such as going on dates or having affairs with people of the opposite-sex. Materials and Methods Participants Sixty volunteers, recruited from different colleges, participated in the experiment.

One participant had misunderstood the instructions and was thus excluded from the analyses. None of the participants reported any previous diagnoses of psychiatric or neurological illnesses. Each participant had provided written informed consent prior to participating in the experiment.

They were also given small tokens of appreciation for their participation.

Materials The vignettes used in the present experimental paradigm were adapted from a previous study that investigated the neural correlates of envy and schadenfreude Takahashi et al. The vignettes were modified to fit the present romantic love context, according to the previous definitions of love Hatfield and Sprecher, ; Schafer and Keith, The people in the vignettes included one protagonist and three targets i.

Participants were asked to study and understand the vignettes thoroughly and to imagine themselves as the protagonist in the vignettes. Target A was described as a person of equal level of excellence and high similarity to the protagonist, target B as equal level of excellence and low similarity to the protagonist, and target C as low level of excellence and low similarity to the protagonist target C.

See Supplementary Table S1 for details. The PLS is suitable for individuals who are and are not in a relationship, and for individuals who have never been in a romantic relationship Hatfield and Sprecher, ; Aron et al. The reliability and validity of this scale have been established in previous studies Hatfield and Sprecher, ; Fehr, ; Hendrick and Hendrick, ; Fehr and Russell, Procedures Learning Materials The experiment consisted of two parts. We induced feelings of love toward the targets in the participants the protagonists in Part 1 Figure 1and feelings of hate toward the targets in Part 2 Figure 2.

Part 1 consisted of three phases: This figure presents a schematic depiction of the stimuli and rating task design of Part 1 love. First, a fixation cross hair was presented for ms followed by the experimental stimuli Lover A, Lover B, and Lover C that were displayed for ms or until response. The top line in each stimuli-containing rectangle indicated a target person, the middle line indicated the domain of comparison excellence and similarityand the bottom line indicated the specific traits in these two domains.

Part 2 consisted of two phases: This figure presents a schematic depiction of the stimuli and rating task design of Part 2 hate. Each trait was followed by a subsequent negative event, which was presented for ms or until response.

The top line indicated a target person, and the bottom line indicated a negative event. A ms inter-stimulus interval was interleaved between each trait and negative event. First, participants were asked to read a story and imagine that they were the protagonist see Supplementary Material. Each vignette involved the protagonist and three targets. Participants were asked to recall the information relating to each target through free recall.

Participants were then asked to imagine that they were in a romantic relationship with the target. Ratings and Measurements We used E-Prime 2. After the participants studied the materials, they completed the rating task on the computer and then completed the PLS in both Part 1 and Part 2.

Participants gave one love score per item per target person in Part 1 and one hate score per negative event per target person in Part 2, as well as two PLS scores before and after the negative events. In Part 2 of the experiment, the background characteristics of A, B, and C were unchanged; however, we created vignettes in which the targets betrayed the protagonist, for example by having an affair with someone of the opposite sex see the negative events in Supplementary Table S1.

Upon completion of Part 2, participants completed the PLS again to assess their feelings of love toward the three targets. Analysis We used several analyses to test our hypotheses. The scores from love ratings, hate ratings, and the PLS items were averaged within subjects prior to the analyses.

Simple effect tests were performed when the interaction effect was significant.

love and hate relationship psychology questions

Additionally, we used a 3 target: Next, we used a 3 target: Tests of simple main effects were performed when an interaction effect was statistically significant.

Further analyses of the simple main effects showed that the degree of love toward target A 5. Further analyses of the simple main effects showed that the degree of passionate love toward target A Further analyses of the simple main effects showed that the degree of hate toward target A 5.

Further analyses of the simple main effects showed that the PLS score for target A Love and Hate The 3 targets: